Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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