she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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