she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
