I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize