So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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