he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
