What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
