I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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