I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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