I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
