You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
