yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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