Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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