1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
