speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
