I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Randomize
