Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
