in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Randomize
