So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
