i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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