What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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