Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
