He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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