O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
