I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
