I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
