Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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