You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
