my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Randomize