someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
