I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
