Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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