just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
She just used a chaser for red wine.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
