I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
My bed smells like the plague
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
