I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize