ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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