I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
a search helicopter?!
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
