Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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