he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
