You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
