I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
There's always time for handjobs
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
