We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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