She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
This is the high leading the old right now
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
