I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
