We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
