Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
In other news, I just burned my penis
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize