I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
