I think my vagina is haunted
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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