i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
