oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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