Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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