Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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