Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize