I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
this hospital has no fireball
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
