He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
