meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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