none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I touched a dick in church today
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
