I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
