i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
