dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Panties = found
Randomize
