he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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