got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
