That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
