it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Green mimosas i think yes
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
where are my eyebrows?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
