i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
