Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize