Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
