Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
