i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
