I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
