What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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