SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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